Helping Others Build Resiliency

helping

When my kids were small, I was navigating a serious, long-term health crisis. It took countless doctors, tests, and even an exploratory surgery before I was finally diagnosed with a rare illness. I was exhausted, afraid, and trying to single-parent through it all. Of course, they were anxious. I had to employ every resilience tool I was learning.
Real optimism. I couldn’t fake positivity; I just didn’t have it in me. And I couldn’t hide how sick I was. But I could practice real optimism. That meant I didn’t promise everything would be okay. I promised to keep going, keep advocating for myself, and to keep searching for solutions.
Asking for help. My usual independence, shaped by a gritty childhood, wasn’t going to carry us through. I had to ask for help and let others step in to support my kids when I couldn’t.
Reframing. I kept myself out of the mind traps by questioning assumptions seeking evidence, and asking for second opinions. Especially when one doctor suggested the problem was all in my head.
I wasn’t modeling perfection in any way. But I was modeling presence, persistence, and vulnerability. And the belief that even in pain, I still had a choice of how I showed up. I could help my kids feel safer by not denying the truth of what they were experiencing. Looking back, I didn’t know that I was modeling Dr. Tina Bryson, co-author with Daniel Siegel of  “The Power of Showing Up” who writes that kids need the four s’s: safe, seen, soothed, and secure.
In the decades since then, I’ve watched my kids grow into young adults. They’ve built their own resilience toolkit as they’ve traveled through valleys of trouble and summits of celebration. I learned the hard way that the best way to teach resilience is to live it out loud.
Now, I apply the same lessons I learned through parenting to how I lead and build teams. I’m not perfect, but I’m present. I show up. I listen. I share honestly. And I try to create the kind of environment where others feel safe, seen, and supported—even in these uncertain times.
If you want to strengthen resilience in those around you, don’t start with advice. Start by showing what’s possible.

Read the full article below on modeling resilience.


You Don’t Have to Be Perfect—Just Present

The best way to teach resilience?
Live it.

You don’t need to fix people. You don’t need perfect advice. You don’t even need to have it all together. What helps others build resilience is seeing someone else respond to life with honesty, humility, and intention.

Resilience isn’t just something we build for ourselves—it’s something we can model and nurture in others. Whether you’re a parent, a leader, a partner, or a friend—your presence matters more than your perfection.

And here’s the key: you don’t need to have it all figured out to be helpful.
In fact, trying to fix others can backfire. What people often need most is your presence, not your solutions.

Modeling resilience means showing what’s possible.

Humans learn through observation. We notice how others handle stress, how they recover from failure, how they talk about their emotions, and how they navigate challenges.

Resilience is contagious. It transfers not through instruction but through example.

When you model emotional agility, self-regulation, or optimism, others see it’s possible.

  • Be a steady presence.
  • Ask thoughtful questions.
  • Share a strategy that helped you—not as a lesson, but as an offering.
    It means being honest (and vulnerable) about your stress without falling apart.
  • It means listening more than lecturing.

You’re not telling them what to do—you’re showing them that choice is available, even in hard times.

Resilience is contagious. You don’t need to lead with answers. You just need to lead with presence.
Others learn from your example, not your advice.
What’s your resilience level? Take the quiz at opalcoaching.com
#Resilience #Leadership

Below, you will find something to do, read, and watch. I have included one thing to reflect on, a gentle nudge to prompt a resilience practice, and a short thought to reset your resilience. I follow with other sources to continue building your resilience toolkit.

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To Read

How to Quiet a Racing Mind to get to Sleep—an article from Everyday Health. If you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, try these strategies to quiet your mind and get the rest you need.

To Watch

How to Turn your Brain off at Night—a video about a Forbes article with strategies to help those who have a mind racing at night, stress about daily demands, or anxiety about the future.

Next

In our final article in the resilience series, we’ll reflect on what you’ve learned and what you want to carry forward. Resilience isn’t about bouncing back occasionally; it’s about being resilient.

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