We are Gonna Need More Monks
Fresh starts, new journals, empty calendars. I love time-based events like New Year’s Day, birthdays, and the first of every month. So it feels especially incongruous to have a shiny new year already cracked open by so much strife, loss, and grief.
I had planned for my next newsletter to focus on resilience in grief. But between health issues, the holidays, and the daily churn of public turmoil, personal resilience took precedence.
When faced with hate, conflict, strife, coming at us from all corners of the US, I’m noticing a sharp increase in my stress responses, Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn. And I am hearing this from others in coaching sessions. People are isolating. They feel unjustified anger over the smallest things. Impulse control feels thin or nonexistent.
If you relate, know that you are not alone. Our stressed-out nervous systems are doing their best to keep us safe in conditions that feel relentless.
I am actively building resilience right now, the same way I get a flu shot during flu season. The goal is to train my system to stand down faster when anxiety and fear rush in.
One boundary I set is ten minutes of doom scrolling. Then I turn away. My current palate cleanser is following the Monk’s Peace Walk, where Buddhist monks are walking over 2,000 miles from Texas to Washington, DC. They are joined by Aloka, the “Peace Dog,” who may be the most emotionally regulated being in the country right now.
The intention of the walk is simple and profound. To promote peace, compassion, and mindfulness during a time of deep division and uncertainty. They have surpassed over a million followers, which tells me that while our faith traditions may differ, the longing for peace does not.
The dominant energy I feel is exhaustion. Bone-deep, unrelenting exhaustion from the constant strife. If that resonates, read on. I’ve listed some practices that are helping me stay human. Share what helps you too. Sometimes naming what you are feeling is already a small relief.
When Politics Keep Punching the Nervous System
Political turmoil is not an abstract thing out in the world. Right now, in the US, it’s an everyday onslaught. And that stress can land in our body and our thoughts, hijacking our sytems. When uncertainty feels as constant as it is right now, the brain scans for threat even when there is no immediate danger. So, patience evaporates, sleep suffers, and small frustrations feel enormous.
Resilience here is not about being calm all the time. It is about shortening recovery time. Standing down faster. Choosing what you let into your system and what you refuse to carry.
Below are practices grounded in neuroscience, contemplative traditions, and lived experience. Use what helps; and ignore the rest.
Staying Human When Things Feel Unhinged
Limit the doom scrolling
The brain was not designed for a 24/7 threat feed. Constant news and social media amplify anxiety and outrage. Set firm boundaries, even asking loved ones to help you keep them. Examples might be one or two check-ins a day from reliable sources to stay informed without flooding your system.
Seek joy as an act of resistance
Yes, I said it. Joy is an act of resistance. Gratitude helps shift perspective, but I invite you to go further. Seek immediate, embodied joy. Laugh at something ridiculous on Threads. Watch animal videos. Sit with your pet. Stand in your garden. Watch birds argue over seeds. Observe a squirrel executing a highly strategic bird feeder heist. Joy is fuel.
Move like a monk
Like the monks, gentle, repetitive movement calms the nervous system. Walking, stretching, yoga, or even slow chores done with attention help discharge stress hormones. You do not need a fitness goal right now, your system needs regulation. Breathing practices, meditation, and moments of stillness calm the nervous system. Prioritize sleep, nourishment, and rest like your life depends on it. Because in many ways, it does. This is not the season to relegate care to an afterthought.
Ordinary Conversations
NO, you do not need to debate politics to connect. Shared humanity is enough. Isolation magnifies helplessness, so reach out to friends, family, or trusted communities. Collective resilience is built through connection.
Get it Out
Art, music, writing, and journaling give shape to what feels overwhelming. Expression moves emotion. Suppression stores it. You do not need to be good at it. You just need to let it out. During COVID we saw a huge increase in people getting in touch with their Maker spirit. I used to follow a Facebook group called “Made in Isolation.” Now I am addicted to BritBox’s “Make it at Market” series.
Lower the Bar
If everything takes more energy right now, it can be a sign of an over-taxed nervous system. Shrink your goal, lower your expectation. Progress really is better than perfection when resilience is the goal.
Share Your Care
The monks say it simply in their dharma talks. “What matters most is that we must come together.” If you feel called to protest, give yourself permission to go. If protesting is not your path, there are countless ways to engage without burning out. Volunteer at a shelter. Support a food bank. Mentor. Show up locally. Choose causes that align with your values without requiring you to fight every battle.
Seek professional support when needed
There is no shame in asking for help. Therapists and mental health professionals offer tools that prevent acute stress from becoming long-term harm. Support is a strength multiplier.
Joy is resistance. Also, dogs help.
Tweet
More grounded resilience at Opal Coaching. #resilience
Below, you will find something to do, read, and watch. I have included one thing to reflect on, a nudge to prompt a resilience practice, and a short thought to reset your resilience. I follow with other sources to continue building your resilience toolkit.
To Do
Reflect: Where is your nervous system most activated right now? What patterns are you noticing in your reactions?
Choose one boundary or one joy practice to protect your energy this week.
Less news. More dogs.
To Read
“Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers” A widely read non-fiction book by neuroendocrinologist and primatologist Robert M. Sapolsky. He explores how chronic psychological stress affects human health through the body’s biological stress-response systems through a blend of accessible science writing, humor, and practical coping advice.
To Watch
How to Ask for Help – and Get a “Yes” In social psychologist Heidi Grant’s actionable TED talk, she shares four simple rules for asking for help and getting it.
Next
The following article explores Navigating Loss and Grief—not solely the grief of death, but the anticipatory grief, identity shifts, and quiet losses that accompany chronic illness and caregiving. Keep reading, and let me know what resonates.
