You are Enough!
Talking Back to the Inner Critic That Says You Aren’t
Not good enough…
Not doing enough…
Not perfect enough…
Those are just three repetitive comments from hundreds I gathered from a recent training I attended about inner saboteurs. That is fear-based thinking that only serves to keep us in doubt and fear. It’s that vicious inner critic named ‘Impostor Syndrome.’ Does this resonate? Don’t worry, you are not broken, you’re human.
I recall attending a major product conference several years ago, surrounded by product leads from top-name brands, including Pinterest, YouTube, Facebook, and Google. The speaker opened by asking everyone in the room who suffered from impostor syndrome to stand up. To my surprise, nearly two-thirds of the room stood! It showed me firsthand how prevalent this feeling is. If we were at the ‘Imposter Syndrome in the History of the World’ conference, you’d see names like Brené Brown, Albert Einstein, Maya Angelou, Michelle Obama, Sheryl Sandberg, among others.
Impostor syndrome is a nearly universal experience, especially among high achievers. Read on to learn more about this inner critic, and what to do to silence it.
Congratulations!
If you are feeling Impostor Syndrome, you are growing forward. You wouldn’t be feeling this way if you were staying in a safe, risk-averse stance. Being aware of this insidious inner critic is the first step in helping you shift your thinking and start talking back to it.
How to recognize Impostor Syndrome
It’s a belief, that is very connected to self-worth, which we explored in the previous article. If you are not sure if what you are thinking relates to self-worth, confidence, or impostor syndrome, don’t worry. They are all cousins in the same faulty mindset family. These inner critics are so deeply ingrained, it’s worth taking some time to dive in.
You’ll know the critic is taking over if you recognize thinking or saying to yourself:
“I am not enough,” or some derivative of the ‘not enough’ theme. There are hundreds.
This inner critic can claim energy, space, and resilience. People describe the impact as “exhausting,” “questioning myself,” “fear of losing…” But it is important to remember, it’s not ALL of you. There is more to you than this faulty belief.
What’s really going on:
Imposter syndrome is not a diagnosis; it’s a cognitive distortion, a pattern of thinking that undermines resilience by eroding two key psychological foundations:
- Self-efficacy (your belief in your ability to succeed)
- Optimism (your expectation that effort will lead to positive outcomes)
Psychologist Pauline Clance, who coined the term, found that people with impostor thoughts often dismiss objective evidence of success and attribute achievements to luck, timing, or deception.
It manifests as persistent self-doubt, downplaying accomplishments, or fear of being “found out,” despite evidence of success. You might be labeling yourself “lazy” or “worthless.”
Over time, this pattern silently depletes confidence and increases anxiety, even in those with strong capabilities and accomplishments.
There is no quick fix to dismiss the feelings of impostor syndrome, especially given that they often stem from experiences in childhood. However, you can shift your relationship with those thoughts. Not to scare you, but they will probably return. You can shrink them down to take less space and energy, and train your resilience muscle to rise stronger and live bolder.
Where Does Self-Doubt Begin?
Psychological research suggests early experiences shape our internal narratives. Here are four familiar origin stories that shape impostor thoughts:
- You were rewarded for being “the smart one,” so success became a performance to maintain, not a process to grow through.
- You learned to earn safety through over-functioning, so proving yourself became second nature.
- You’ve often been “the only one” in the room, so feeling out of place feels familiar, even when it’s not true.
- You were criticized instead of coached, so feedback still feels like failure.
Recognizing these stories helps shift from judgment to curiosity—a critical step in building what psychologist Carol Dweck calls a “growth mindset.” Understanding these patterns can loosen their grip. They aren’t your fault, but they are yours to rewrite. Here’s how to start:
- Talk about it. Studies show that naming imposter thoughts reduces their power—especially in supportive communities.
- Reframe your success. Shift from “I got lucky” to “I prepared, I showed up, and I contributed.”
- Challenge the story. What would a more compassionate version sound like? What I call, talking back to your critic!
It’s time to stand up to that inner critic with G.R.A.C.E. (Video: Shift from C.H.A.O.S. to G.R.A.C.E.)
To Do
Reflect: When was the last time you felt like a fraud or experienced the most self-doubt? What did you tell yourself about why you didn’t belong?
Nudge:
- Journal. Write down three things you’ve accomplished recently. Label what skills, strengths, or effort helped you succeed, not just ‘luck’ or ‘good timing.’
- Try a reframe. Instead of “I don’t know what I’m doing,” say, “I’m learning something new.”
- Own your Worth. When you receive a compliment, don’t deflect it. Just say “thank you.” Internally, take 10 seconds to own what it means.
Reflect: You don’t need to silence the inner critic. You just need to stop giving it the mic.
To Read
“Taming Your Gremlin: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way” by Rick Carson, conceptualizes negative self-talk, self-doubt, and other self-defeating thoughts and beliefs as an “inner gremlin”. The goal is to gain freedom from these hindering patterns.
Bonus Material: Take the free saboteur assessment to increase your awareness of your inner critic.
To Watch
“What’s Impostor Syndrome and How Can You Combat It?” Short (under 5 min!) Ted-Ed Talk by Elizabeth Cox. Explore the psychology behind impostor syndrome, and get tips on how you can combat feelings of doubt in your accomplishments.
Next
Notice the stories you tell yourself—and start rewriting them. In the next few articles, we’ll examine self-esteem and how we can talk back when we let things get in the way of self-compassion..
